The land of origin

In less than 2 weeks I'll be in Sardinia, to attend to the marriage of my cousin.

The relationship between each person and his/her land of origin is peculiar. There is a sense of affection and pride, which goes beyond reason and causes.

This relationship is even more difficult to tell for people who left their land of origin early. When I'm in Sardinia, I am a stranger. I left it too early. I know no one. I don't know the places, the habits, the dialect. And, yet, I feel at home. And I ask myself: why shouldn't I stay here? Why did I ever leave? And, at the same time, I would probably be uncomfortable if I came back there to stay.

My cousin and her two brothers have been so important to me. One summer, my mother and my brother were in the hospital, having been run over by a car. I spent that summer with my uncle, my aunt and my cousins. And I always felt part of the family. I never felt any difference between the three siblings and me. Nowadays, I visit my cousins whenever I can. My uncle passed away in April this year. He once said that I was his fourth child.

My friend Massimo gets married the same day. Also in Sardinia. There has been tension between us at times, but he is a real friend. He puts commitment in whatever he does, playing fantasy league and helping homeless people. And he once told me that he first got in touch with HTML because he saw me fiddling with it. I am an HTML rookie and he is the webmaster of several sites.

I can live with you and I can live without you

Elisa is going back and forth from Italy to here. Now she's in Italy.

So, how do I feel, all alone in my apartment? Well, strange. I don't miss her when she's not here. Yet, it's not bad either when she's here.

Nec tecum nec sine te vivere possum, I can live neither with you nor without you, is a verse about 2000 years old (maybe by Catullus). In my case, it's the opposite.

So, why did that happen? Elisa taught me a lot, including having more self-confidence, and, in general, the importance of relationships with others. Those helped me to be more happy, whatever happens. In short, Elisa taught me not to need her.

Open questions are: is this a good or a bad thing? And how stable is this going to be? The question to the second answer is: not much. Yet, I don't care, because it is stable right now. It's like the initial scene of La Haine: the narrator tells about a guy who, falling from a tall building, repeats to himself, "So far so good... so far so good". By the way, La Haine is one of the first movies I and Elisa saw together.

Being ill sucks

End of July, I made friends with the Dutch health system. This system is a nice guy, yet I would have preferred not knowing him...

On a Sunday (the day after the first, and so far the last, concert of The Membro's) I go to Zandvoort. Horrible weather, not the day to go to the beach. And I feel a light pain in my back on the left side. Light, but persistent. It's nothing, it's just because I rode a friend on my bike yesterday, yet it doesn't go. I take an aspirin and go to bed.

Monday, I go to work, and the pain is still there, growing stronger as the hours pass. I phone my personal doctor, telling I am strongly considering going to the hospital. She says not to worry and wait. I take an aspirin and go to bed.

At 3.30AM, I wake up. The pain is as strong as ever. I turn in the bed, and it hurts. I turn on the other side, and it hurts more. And, if I lie on my back, it hurts most. Despite being very tired, the pain just does not let me sleep. I cannot stand lying in the bed. So I get dressed, take an umbrella (yes, it's July, but it's raining like hell) and walk. At 4AM I am at the nearest hospital.

They see nothing, even at the X-rays, make me a shot of Diclofenac and send me back home, after prescribing me lots of painkillers and stomach protectors. And they suggest me to have more exams.

The days after, no more pain. The medicines have the side effects to cure the symptoms of the other health problems (cervical arthrosis, excessive stomach acidity), the medical tests say nothing at all.

The only possible explanation the doctor gave is: I had kidney stones, and I successfully expelled them. Yet, there is no certainty.

After a long silence

Why no posts for such a long time? Because blogs are a fashion, and fashions come and go. Or because I found no time. Or because Elisa was in the same room when I was sitting in front of the PC, and a blog is a personal thing (but, if it is so personal, why can everyone read it?).

Anyway, the silence is broken. Time to resume blogging.

(to the people who will read this blog in 3 years, and find that this is still the most recent post: please, don't laugh too hard)