Holidays

Long time between the end of the Christmas holidays and the relevant post. Nothing special, apart that they were long. Slept a lot. Visited a lot of friends in little time. Including Nicola, who some weeks earlier had come to Amsterdam for a meeting of the Phosphorus project, and, at 19 years, is the longest-time friend I have (relatives not included). New Year's Day celebration was boring, and the way I was convinced to take part to it is better left untold.


Highlights: a visit to Sant'Anna (famous for a very sad event occurred during World War II, and at the same time a very nice and quiet place among woods and mountains) and Colonnata, a small town surrounded by mountains and marble quarries, and famous for its lard.

I also scratched my father's new, big, fast car. But, strangely, he didn't kill me for that.

Funny signs 2

An example of polderpoëzie (a word coined by my Dutch language teacher) on a traffic light pole in Nassauplein.

When I look into your eyes
something starts burning in my heart
I find you so beautiful
But I don't know how I can say that
So now I have sorrow

An electoral sign of the Party for the Animals. They won 2 seats in the recent elections. It says Shake The Hague awake now!

Dog lover
If you just leave your visiting card in the letter box, our dog is happy to come by you and crap once in front of your door

Read the Bible, the book for you (Jordaan district)

God does not exist (right next to St. Nicholas church, one of the biggest Catholic churches in town, in the heart of the city)

Unknown canal

One way, except for horses (Bovenkerk)

Who I am, who I should be

A harsh discussion ensued between me and Elisa, triggered by comparisons to other people and the situation described in another post. Her argument was that I could achieve more, but I didn't because I didn't behave optimally, so I should change the way I behave. And I should plan a solid future.

Everything can be viewed from optimistic and pessimistic points of view, just like a half-full half-empty glass. And I am not completely unsatisfied of myself, and I don't completely lack self-esteem. So, if I look back to my life, I see that I achieved something, I can be proud of something, I have enough money to afford to eat every day. And, about planning of lack thereof, I don't see it as disastrous, many friends of mine do even less and are happy, maybe happier than me.

All this leads to a choice.
1. I should not care if Elisa looks at the half-empty glass. I should enjoy my half-full glass. Elisa must not tell that I would be the right person if only... Either I am the right person, or I am the wrong person. Stop. Then you decide.
2. I should re-consider my everyday behaviour, starting from tomorrow.

Looking back to my previous jobs, I actually applied policy 1, with satisfaction. So the natural choice is 1. But there is something which makes me think about 2:
- things to lose. This may sound conservative, but when faced with the choice of breaking up, one is naturally inclined to think about what there is to lose. Only when you have nothing to lose, are you really free to decide. Evaluate what there is to lose is difficult, and so is choosing if losing it is worth it
- many pleasant things that happened in my life (yes, there have been many) happened because at certain points I could break the mould, do something unthinkable one month before
- what Elisa says actually touches me, even if I don't want to show that.

I absolutely need a copy of the book Life: A User's Manual. Why is everything so complicated?

Luck

The company organized a party last Friday. Nice. Lots of people, that was the best part. Also the band playing 70s and 80s disco music was nice. The dinner was OK. Not better than OK, the food was not much, the meat was dry with little salt.

At the party, I lost my umbrella. Not a big loss: it was very broken. So I had the chance to buy a new one. Since the weather here and now is very rainy and windy, a good and strong umbrella is a must. So I indulged and bought an original Knirps. Hey, a self-admitting geek who buys an incredibly expensive gadget which is not electronic!!! Unbelievable! It is waterproof and very resistant to the wind. Unfortunately, it is not resistant to one thing: absent-minded people who keep forgetting their umbrellas anywhere, just like me.

And I lost my camera. But someone at work came to me and gave it back to me. I don't know who told him I lost it (but the office managers knew, I wrote them the morning after, telling them the model of the camera, maybe they did). I discovered that, in the meantime, someone else took photos with it. I don't know if I am angry, because people used someone else's camera without permission, or happy, because I had my camera back eventually.

Happy. Not completely, but happy

I will still work for my present company. This is good. I like my job, and this means that they recognized me as a good employee (they also that in the renewal statement). Yet, it is for one more year. I was hoping for a permanent contract.

Anniversary

Today, I am living in Holland for exactly one year.

Time for reconsidering what happened. Did I regret leaving my job in Italy. No, not at all. Home sickness? Sometimes, especially with bad weather, but not a lot. Feeling like a stranger? Probably a ittle, but, believe it or not, not a lot more than in Italy. Money? Money is never enough, but, in comparison to Italy, I cannot but be satisfied. language? I don't know if I should be satisfied, because I can read it decently, or unsatisfied, because I speak badly and I undertand spoken language even worse. Let's try to see the positive side: I've improved a lot. But the opposite would have been impossible, considering the starting point.

Would I move to Holland again? Yes, definitely.

Regrets? The same I had before: sometimes I feel like I'm not exploiting the opportunity to the maximum. I think I should make more friends, go out more... My eternal shyness stops me. But anyway, looking from the positive side, I'm slowly becoming more social. Or maybe I should eventually become an adult and stop thinking about that.

80s

A new Italian colleague has come recently to the company. Yesterday he invited me and some friends to his home, for an evening together and a dish of pasta.

His history is different from mine. I always tried not to behave as an Italian abroad, therefore I never sought for Italian friendships, rather I tried to mix with the international atmosphere of the company and the city. He, instead, came two years ago and almost immediately signed up in the site Italians in Olanda. This is where most of the people present yesterday came from. Yes, there was the odd Dutch engaged to an Italian partner, but the absolute majority was made of Italians. So, I could really breathe that air of a community, a set of people who share language and culture, but live surrounded by a different language and a different culture, and find their own identities in the culture. Funny, before now I always try to assimilate and mingle with the surrounding culture (with various degrees of sucess).

We watched Notte prima degli esami, an Italian movie which tries to appeal to two types of people: teenagers (being a movie about teenagers) and people who were young in the 80s
(being set in 1989). Despite having a fair share of stereotypes, and showing young age and high school in a way sometimes too idylliac and unrealistic, it is anyway a funny and interesting comedy. And all the 80s music and fashions (the boys played with a Commdoore 64! Fantastic) made everyone feel nostalgic. Many fashions, fads, singers etc. were common then, and gradually faded out unnoticed afterwards. Now, when reminded, they become something special, triggering surprise and emotion. "Look at how Madonna looked like when she was singing Like A Virgin!", "Look at those telephone tokens!", "look at that Citroën Dyane!".

I realised something about myself: I am an 80s person. It is part of me, of my being, just like my name and the colour of my eyes. I am in 2006, but I realise that 2006 is not my home. I just bought a Transavia ticket to the year 2006, and that's why I am here. I haven't bought the return ticket to the second half of the 80s, yet.

Our host also had a copy of an Italian mag called Max, some glossy-paper mag with lots of half-naked models, something about the trend du jour, and a lot of ads of overpriced luxury goods. But one of the titles on the cover was actually interesting. "Goa, the hippies do not live there anymore". Somebody tell that to my landlady, please.

Fine weekend

On Friday evening, I didn't go as usual at the Heeren Van Aemstel. Instead, I went to the Open Air Theatre with the neighbour, her close friend and Elisa, to assist to a Bertolt Brecht play. Nice, well acted, nice scenes. No curtain, so you could see everything behind the scenes. Or, in a sense, nothing was behind the scenes, everything was part of the show, including the actors changing clothes and changing the set. The language was Dutch, and that didn't help a lot.

Sunday was the turn of a visit to the NEMO science museum. Although most of it caters for a children's audience, it was great fun. It was possible to put hands on a lot of stuff, and experiment oneself. And there was an interesting :) section about sex, which was aimed at young people. There was a video which was forbidden to people older than 18. Imagine doing that in Italy. Not as good as the Deutsches Museum in Munich, but very good.

And today, after a long pause, back to the swimming pool.

I don't understand myself

Sometimes I really, sincerely, utterly admire Elisa. She is good at everything, everything she does she does well, it is a pleasure to conversate with her.
Other times I wonder how I can be attracted by someone who cares so little about how she looks and dresses.
Sometimes I would like to tell her that she should take a little more care in how she looks and dresses (only a little. I hate girls who only care about looks).
Other times I feel that, if I told her so, I would be an insensitive sod who does not really love her and forces her to be someone else.
Sometimes I think that I and Elisa go so well together because we are very much like each other.
Other times I think that we are too much alike, we do not complement.
Sometimes I need more freedom.
Other times I think that, if I had more freedom, I would have more freedom to take wrong decisions and ruin my own life.
Sometimes I am very self-confident. I have qualities, I have some interests, I reached some point of maturity.
Sometimes I feel that I am an annoyance to others, everything I say could harm others or simply bore them, and, anyway, the world can go on if I would not be here, and if I would not be here nobody would care. So I stay silent and tend to avoid human relationships.
Sometimes I take life as it comes, and enjoy the moment.
Other times I think that I should find a determined goal, and live for it. Which is what Elisa does.
Sometimes I like to be alone, independent, and in full control of my life.
Other times I feel that my life is empty without others to take care of, and who take care of me.
Sometimes I am unaffected by bad things that happen, I just bear with them and go on.
Other times I whine about how bad things happen.
Sometimes I complain that nobody understands me.
Other times I think that it is normal. I don't understand myself, so why should others do?

Why am I sleeping so little these days?
Amd, most important, why am I blogging at 7AM?
(BTW, 7AM is very early, not very late)

"I hate my life! I hate everything! I wish I was dead! ...Well, no, I don't, not really. I wish everyone else was dead" (from a Calvin and Hobbes strip)

House

Not so good news about the house.

Some months ago, my landlady, back from India, seemed so enthusiastic about coming back to India, and looking forward to finding some sort of long-term way to live there.

More recently, she expressed the desire to resume her old job in Holland. And she did not want to renew the contract for a whole year. And she told something about coming back to her own home, of course with a sufficient advance notice bla bla. It is not the most reassuring condition I've ever been. Better look for something else. Pity, I love this house (I love her house?).

And, in the meantime, I hope that my employment contract is renewed. Because, despite a crap August with rain virtually every day, I still love this country.

Plans for the future

Tomorrow I will be alive. And the day after tomorrow too. But I don't like to make such detailed plans such a long time in advance

Something new

I did something I never did before: I repaired a hole in the front wheel of my bicycle.

What do you mean, it is not new, and you don't write about anything else? The past times it was the rear wheel!

The eternal struggle continues.

A story with a happy ending

No post in the last weeks. But the last weeks were not so uneventful. (I should have blogged earlier. But I always did something else instead. Much less useful, of course).

Last week I received a visit from two long time Italian friends, and their daughter, who will turn 6 in a few months. They came with their motorhome. Well, they had to take care of theit girl a lot, so probably they didn't have so much spare time to go around and visit the city. But it was fun. And the girl (and her father) appreciated the C64 DTV a lot. I'm such a geek I appreciate those things.

The last day of their visit (Friday past week) they went to my house while I and Elisa were at work, relaxed a little, checked and wrote e-mails etc. When they came back to their motorhome, which was parked in the same street, they didn't find it. They only found a bunch of glass spliners instead. So they phoned me, worried, saying "The motorhome's been stolen!". I was astonished, I would like to help them in any case, but the only thing I could do was to point them to the nearest police office.

Less than one hour after, an SMS gave relief. The motorhome was at the police. Apparently, a petty thief broke the glass and took a bag (which was visible from outside), but then, maybe seen by people who lived aorund, just flew away, neglecting all the valuables inside the motorhome. The police, in order to prevent more thefts from a motorhome with a broken glass, took it away (without posting any signs of doing that). And the bag was found a few meters away in the street. So, after replacing the glass, everything was back to normal.

They left Amsterdam and headed for the Hoge Veluwe .

Chores

I dared do something very difficult, yet boring, and possibly unrewarding: filling the tax return.

In Italy it was not hard, for two reasons. First, I was (and am) an employee, and taxes are deducted from my salary. Second, in Italy companies employ fiscal consultancy agencies, so employees just talk to a consultant, and (s)he does all the paperwork.

Here, one is on his own. The HR department does not know much about tax forms. And the form is strictly in Dutch. And I didn't find anything in it about the so-called 30% ruling. I would like to have my taxes back, since I didn't have a 30% ruling in 2005 but I have now, but the form says nothing.

On another topic, maybe I'll have to change house. The rent in my current house will increase, and Elisa is not sure she will stay in Holland after January, so this house would become unaffordable for me alone. And that's a real pity, becuse I really like this house.

What you call heatwave, I call summer

When I came, I thought Holland was different from Italy. Well, it is, in the sense that August in Italy is a summer month, while in Holland it has an autumn-like weather. But there's something in common: people complaining about warm weather. If it were for me, summer should be 9 months longer. 30 degrees is the ideal temperature. Instead, people, TV and newspapers complained the whole July about the heatwave, instead of letting the other people enjoy the wonderful weather.

The heatwave is over, it's cold (that is, you cannot go around in short sleeves), it rains, and I severely need a holiday.

Italy won Football World Cup

And I am happy. Because Italy won. And because France lost. Euro 2000's final needed a revenge.

Yet, I think that no World Cup final should end with a shoot-out. In 1982 there was a rule: if the match was a draw after extra time, it should have been replayed. The rule was abolished in 1986. It should be restored.

And, in 1982 (yes, I am so old I remember 1982 World Cup final as it was yesterday) I was far, far, far more happy. Maybe I'm getting old.

Holidays are over

Very short holidays. The nice times of when I was a child and summer holidays lasted three months are over (well, actually I don't think that the times of when I was a child were nice, but there were nice aspects).

First, back to Pisa. Just off the plane, I remember how hot Italy is on summer. I like hot weather, but that humid hot weather was unbearable. Voted for the referendum (luckily, "No" won quite largely, so our great Constitution was not changed for the worse). Then I borrowed my father's motor scooter and I and Elisa went to Sardinia. Even though I am Sardinian, I don't know large parts of it. It was nice, a motor scooter really gives freedom of movement and you can feel the warm weather on your skin.And the natural beauty of some spots was stunning. The island is very little populated (except that the coasts get overcrowded on summer), so there are large stretches of land in which you can walk for tens of kilometers and not see a house.

We arrived to Olbia in the morning, visited the city, then went to some archaeological areas around Arzachena, then to Palau, where we boarded the ferry to la Maddalena. We went around the town and the island, and to Caprera, where we visited Garibaldi's house. It was closed. maybe Mr. Garibaldi was not at home at that time. Jokes apart, it is so stupid to find a monument closed one day a week during the peak season for tourism. Apparently, since museums and monuments are open on Sundays, they are closed on Mondays. Don't those people think that monuments should be open 7 days a week?!? Especially in an island which thrives on tourism!!! After that we visited Luogosanto and Tempio, stopped in a bar in Tempio to see Italy's match, then we hit the road again to visit some churches, and to Sassari. That was our first day. Our holiday was more stressful than our jobs.

We visited Sassari and Alghero (great town, the most beautiful of Sardinia).

Alghero

Then went along the coast to Bosa (almost completely unspoilt coast, great landscape).

Coast between Alghero and Bosa

We shortly visited Bosa, then went further south through nice villages and unbearably hot weather, we reached the archaeological site of Tharros. We spent the second night in an agriturismo with nice Tuscan people.

Tharros

This is not Far West, but the village of San Salvatore near Tharros

The third day we went to Cabras, Oristano, Sanluri, Cagliari and then the final destination by the south coast. And the real holiday started, and lasted a few days.

The return trip was all in one day, along the east coast. There are incredible landscapes. At one point, the road which runs closest to the coast reaches an altitude of over 1000 meters.

Su Gorruppu gorge seen from the road between Baunei and Dorgali

On the ferry back to continental Italy, we watched the semifinal Italy-Germany. At the end people were about as happy for Italy's victory and for Germany's defeat. Apparently not many people in the world love Germans.

Then, I am back to Amsterdam. I shaved for the first time in about 10 days. The weather is much sunnier and warmer than when I left. It was so nice that, last Thursday, I and the downstairs neighbour had dinner in a park, on the grass. Geweldig (as they say here).

I miss Italy

When I came, I promised I would have never said so. And I maintained the promised for a very long time. But now that time has come. Why? Obvious reason: the weather. Not too bad in winter, in the sense that it's not worse than in Italy. But now, it's definitely colder. First half of May has been great. Second half of may has been dismal. I was afraid autumn was already started, even before spring was over... Luckily, first days of June were great again. Then, again, cold weather came back... Will summer ever come? Well, yesterday and today were not bad, let's hope the weather improves.

In fact, I don't miss Italy. Here one can see all World Cup matches on TV. In Italy, you have to subscribe to a particular pay TV.

A post cannot be a post without mentioning the bike. Now it has new pedals. The rest is old and battered, as ever. No new holes, this anti-leak tyre is working.

And the language: I still suck. As for writing, I never write in Dutch, maybe I should start in order to practice. I am not fluent at all at speaking, and my vocabulary has enormous gaps. I can understand non-Dutch people speaking Dutch (mostly). Well, I understand English better when spoken by non-English, too, and this could be a sort of consolation. But it is not enough. Anyway, who wants to learn a language which includes the word "onafhankelijkheid"?

Time for exams

Long time with no posts. It's because the bike works too well. Actually, after replacing the rear tyre, the rear wheel needed to be replaced because of a small accident (which cost me a fair amount of Euros). So, with completely new rear part (actually, I don't know if the tube was changed), the bike is going as well as ever. And the blog is more silent.

Time for exams. Next Friday I have the company 's performance appraisal. I am actually a little scared. It's not like a university exam, there is nothing to do in the last days, only what I did in the past almost seven months counts. But did I do what they expected me to do?

And soon, don't know exactly when, my landlady is coming back from her long holiday for a few days (after which she will go back to her holiday place). She will see the house, and maybe judge me for how it is maintained.

I am not really worried, but I am actually a bit uneasy about those two occurrences.

Also, the weather is like it's autumn again. Maybe it will be autumn until December, then winter again. There's something missing somewhere. I should be content to have had some weeks of spring some weeks ago, but somehow it doesn't seem enough.

Bad, then good

Things started to go really bad.

Yesterday I realised I lost my bag. There was just one valuable thing inside, but there was one. It must have been on Friday night. So I went to the hotel where the company's party was

While going there, the rear tyre of my bike got its sixth hole. The same day as when I repaired the fifth one. Damn glass splinters left on Utrechtsestraat after Queen's Day!

The people at the hotel found nothing.

Before going to sleep I thought I could have left my bag in the place where I and some colleagues had falafel after the party. But it was midnight, too late to ask.

Today is 1st May, but I went to work. It is not a holiday here. This is the only country in the civilised world where you have to work on 1st May (in the United States it is not a holiday either, but, because of death penalty and the war in Iraq, I have doubts about it being a civilised country).

At lunch time, I went to the falafel place. They told me to try on the evening. I lost every hope.

It started raining. It's May! May is in spring, you know! It's supposed to be sunny!

I went home pushing my bike and riding the metro along with it. Just before coming home, I realised the chain I lock it with was not there.

So I brought the bike to the repairer, asking him to change the rear tyre complete with tube, and replace it with an anti-leak tyre. The conversation started in Dutch, but I was unable to understand his second or third sentence, so we switched to English.

Luckily, after 15 minutes and some tenths of euros, the bike was ready. This blog will become much more silent now. Or at least I hope.

Then I took the metro (it was still raining like hell, better not to use the bike) and went to the city center. I found the chain just where my bike was parked. It must have fallen off just after I unchained it.

Then I went to the falafel place again. My bag was there! And all its content!

Let's hope tomorrow is sunny and warm!